Perfectionism leaves no room for Creativity

Artwork from a building on a recent trip to Tucson, AZ

In the field of psychology, perfectionism is often discussed as an individual trait- that needs to be healed. In that, we leave out the over-cultural impact of perfectionism. In this type of perfectionism, which I see move through me, my clients, my colleagues and communities, there is an idea that there is a binary “right” or “wrong” way to move ahead, to tackle a problem, to have a meal, or to have a body. I often talk about how this reduces our view, it forces us to see things through a small, stressful, and pressurized lens. I encourage us to widen that lens, to what is real and true- which is that there is often not a “right” or “wrong” binary in front of us- but rather an expanse available to explore and get curious about, which is fertile ground for a creative process.

The process of healing food and body relationship necessitates creativity. Not only does it make the arduous journey more enjoyable, it also shows you- the individual who has lived and endured- the way forward for both your own healing process, that then can be used as a roadmap for creating a life that reflects and represents you, and not the stories about who you were meant to be, created by someone else.

There is no one “right” way. There is only you and your body, your relationship to it, and your relationship with the world outside of you, and the people and beings you invite in and who choose to stay. The idea of a “right” way surrenders your agency in the process. No one knows better than you. You can take information from those you trust, and filter that through your own knowing and process.

When we get stuck in the perfectionism trap, we forget about possibility. About solutions that have never been presented or dreamed of. About things that would feel like relief, comfort, support, and or safety to us.

Try an experiment. When you hear your inner critic chattering on about right or wrong, you’ve messed up because of this or that… pause and consider. Who wants me to think this? How does this serve me? Am I following someone else’s idea about what is best for me, and is that true? Or does that idea need some interrogation? This often comes up in my work in relation to food or body, but this experiment can be done at any time with any situation.

It’s why I find the work of food and body healing as an inroad to our intuition. When we begin to trust our bodies, we can start to trust ourselves, and then we can start living our lives for us and not someone else’s idea of what’s “best”. We don’t get stuck in the right or wrong trap but we allow ourselves to be in process, gathering information and deciding what to do with it from there.

Just like our bodies, our lives are not equations, nor were they ever meant to be.

Find out what yours has in store for you.